This question scares me to no end.
You see, the thing is, I've never been on an actual first date.
There have been crushes and feelings and unclear lines,
But there have been no dates.
And long story short, after college, I got on Tinder, OKCupid, and Plenty of Fish.
I had one guy that I talked to for two months but there was no date. I had people ask me out on dates and for one reason or another, I found something very reasonable that I could say no to. I had people ask for other things without even asking for a date.
I don't know how to do this.
Literally, dating does not make any sense to me. I don't understand why I am supposed to impress someone with my hair and the way my body curves and the way that I crack jokes and what I do with my time.
But even though I don't understand that and it literally drains my soul of its energy, I know that I at least have to attempt to survive in the dating world.
So, I swipe right on Tinder. I get a match and then a message.
And we talk a little.... and then he asks the question...
Wanna go out sometime?
I panic. His bio was ok. He was kinda cute. He didn't say anything that made me want to run away in his messages. I couldn't come up with a good reason to say no. So I did what all girls do when it comes to boys, I consulted my girls.... and they all said what I was secretly hoping they wouldn't: "Marilyn, you need to go". So I hyperventilated in my bathroom for an hour and finally gave him an answer of yes.
I set rules because I still need some sort of control over this and I still barely know this guy
1, We meet in public
2. We meet there
3, No alcohol
4. No sex or "going back to someone's place"
He agreed. I was kinda nervous. Kinda excited. Super proud of myself.
He asked me out on Monday.
We snapchatted on Tuesday.
Our date was on Wednesday.
And let's just say it was the worst two hours, ever.
We had interesting conversation at some points, but to be honest, I became really invested in the World Series on the TV in the restaurant....and I can't stand baseball.
Just a quick list of why it was bad:
1. He kept booping me on the nose (even after telling him no MULTIPLE times)
2. He kept throwing straw wrappers at me
3. He casually threw out some really heavy things about his life without even addressing them
4. He picked up my drink and tried to put the straw in my mouth
5. Every other word was a curse word
6. He wore a cat shirt... the same shirt as from Snapchat the night before
7. He kept asking questions that I genuinely didn't have answers to and would say "that's bull, that's just a cop-out"
8. He self-proclaimed himself as a gentleman and his actions were not close to that
9. He said he liked curvy girls because he feels like he's crushing skinny girls when he sleeps with them...which was definitely an awkward moment because I didn't really ask.
10. He would choose Iron Man over Captain America and that's a major deal breaker
And those are just some of the reasons why I couldn't wait to get home... but obviously, number 10 was the most important.
He asked me the next day if he was getting a second date. I kindly rejected and then he said "Why? I would be a good guy for you. I didn't even say anything sexual. Wish I knew this before I paid."
First of all, don't ever tell me what's good for me unless you're a trusted confidant. That's a very quick way for me to never speak to you again. Second, he did say weird sexual things that were unnecessary and out of place. Third, I said I didn't know if there was going to be a second date a thousand times and he still chose to pay, not my fault. And to think that I owe you anything because you paid for my food (and he ate half of it)...NO BUDDY, I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING.
But I am not mad at all that I went, or even that it went badly.
I've said that this time is all about adventures and fun and living a life that challenges and changes me.
I said yes to something that I never did before.
I survived an unbelievably uncomfortable situation that was making my skin crawl.
I learned more about myself and what I want.
I was reminded of my self-worth because I know I deserve so much more than dates that go like this.
I was not completely turned off from future dating endeavors.
I got a ridiculous story out of this. So if nothing else, it was good for that. Here's to a future of more dates and more fun and more ridiculous stories. Ain't it fun.
