The Art of Becoming

So, it's been a year (and a couple weeks) since the time that I decided that things were going to be different.  A year since what I like to call my "RomCom epiphany moment"

I kinda just chuckle, shake my head, and think "What. a. year.".

Let's look at a quick recap of the things that this year has held.

- I started a contractor position
- I started hiking
- I went out on my first date
- I moved into my own apartment
- My contractor job turned into a full-time job
- I quit my part time job
- I got a tattoo
- I made a solid group of work friends (that turned into real life friends)
- three friends got engaged
- two friends got married
- I started learning to cook
- I traveled to Nashville to see Parachute
- I had a dog for two months? (I count it. She's Paul's but she was kinda mine)
- I went to my first Braves game
- I saw NEEDTOBREATHE
- I started going to REI outdoor classes
- I gained a hiking buddy
- I started going back to church
- I joined a community group at church
- I went to a friend's art show
- I saw Ed Sheeran
- I went to a butterfly festival
- I saw the banana sun
- I got in a car crash (yeah... again)
- I traveled to Seattle by myself
- I got ANOTHER tattoo
- I applied and got accepted into grad school ( I start in less than a month, EEK!)
- I reconciled with a friend
- I saw Parachute .... yes, AGAIN
- I saw Jon Bellion
- I joined an online Minimalism community
- I started pursuing volunteering opportunities
- I got my car back from my car crash

And that doesn't include the day to day changes that have changed my attitude or my habits. Or the books that I've read and movies I've watched.

What a good year it has been.

None of those good things happened by accident. And that's the thing that I've been noticing the most. If I want good things, I have to be willing to put in the work.

If I want to be a person that is adventurous, I have to be a person that steps out the door and tries new things. And sometimes that includes stepping out on my own.
If I want to be someone who is knowledgeable, I need to put in the time to research, read, and listen.
If I want to be someone who is healthy, I have to drink the dang water and take my meds and eat the things I need to. And take the steps up the mountain.
If I want to be someone who is holy, I have to love Christ more and sin less.
If I want to be someone who loves the heck out of this life, it takes a lot of work. To remove things that stand in the way, which can sometimes include people and things that you love deeply. To pursue the things and people that are worth your while and will spur you on.
If I want to be any sort of anything, it's going to take some time and some effort, it's going to take a lot of time and effort.

This year has been great. I've wanted to be a lot of things. I wanted to do a lot of things. I've become (or on my way to becoming) some of those things. I've done a lot of those things. I haven't been anywhere near perfect. I've gone weeks without doing the things I wanted to do daily. I've said and done things that completely derail the person I'm trying to become. I still have so much to do and see and become.

The art of becoming something new is a lengthy process. And it is certainly an art.

I am a pottery vase. I have been molded by the hands of circumstances. I have then been shattered against the ground by clumsy hands. I have been picked up and repurposed. I have had gold mend my broken edges and cracks. I will be molded, and broken, and mended over and over again.

I am a canvas with tears and repairs. Layers of paint collected over the years to form new landscapes.

I will be molded, and broken and mended over and over again. I will be torn and repaired and painted over again and again.

But each time, the result will be something that has taken time and effort to become a work of art.

Some things will "just happen" to you. They may be great or they may shake the core of your soul. But no matter what has happened, who you become is up to you.

You can choose to give up and succumb to the circumstances. You can choose to use your hurt to hurt others. You can choose to  make your life a work of art. Life will most likely be a little bit of all three. But work at it. Becoming who you want to be is one of the greatest things you could do. Make your life a masterpiece. And don't forget, half the fun is in the journey, in the becoming itself.

Fav photo from my trip to Seattle, BTW. Just for funsies.

And Then Keep Going

3. Hike to Local Places

I like hiking, especially back in Toccoa. We had our waterfalls and gorges. It was something to do on the weekends with all my friends, even though we were all always broke. It allowed us to explore and make Toccoa ours. It allowed us to have hilarious stories and quality time where we talked about God and our fears and what makes our hearts scream for joy. 

I have fond memories of hiking up to Little Falls and losing my glasses by falling in the water with my whole friend group freshman year. I have fond memories of hiking Rabun Bald before I graduated with one of my first friends. I have fond memories of hiking Ricketts Glen on trips back to PA where we got lost in the rain with my group of girls. 

Now I'm out of college, and my trips to PA will be less frequent, and my college friends have all gone their separate ways, and my local friends all work on different schedules. So, it's just me out here, yearning to explore and wander over the mountains and rivers that I have yet to discover. 

I'm also a scaredy cat. I hate doing things on my own. The woods are often sites for horror movies. I'm the clumsiest person I know, I trip over my own two feet on flat ground. I have no sense of direction. I worry about the combination of these things as I attempt to hike solo.

But I am determined. I bought the Complete Idiot's Guide to Backpacking and Hiking, because I apparently can't just do things without researching. I started looking up local places. The best places to start day hiking and then hopefully building up to longer overnight hikes

My first solo hike was at Vickery Creek. While hiking 6.34 miles, I discovered the old mill remains and found a rock by the river to read on. The next hike was to the summit of Indian Seats. Once again, I found the perfect reading rock. My third hike was on Jones Bridge Trail, and I think it was my favorite. I found an old bridge that's been stripped down to just a frame. There's a deck that goes out over the Chattahoochee river with a single bench on it, and you guessed it, it's perfect for reading.

As dorky as this may be, I kinda started creating "lessons" from each of my hikes.

For Vickery Creek, my lesson was "be brave enough to start". I was alone, in the woods, in a place that I have never gone, doing an activity I've only done in groups and in familiar places. So, I put my headphones in, got out my trail map, and started hiking. Within minutes, I was on cloud nine. I was proud of myself for choosing to go. I was in awe of the foliage and the old mill. Each step was exhilarating because, in a thousand years, I never thought I would be adventurous on my own. But here I was, starting to do something that I never thought I would be.

For Indian Seats, my lesson was "get up and go again". It's one thing to begin something new, it's another thing to continue going in the direction of a goal. To get up even though part of you is already tired and already proud because you completed something.

For Jones Bridge, my lesson was "and then keep going". You've started, and now you need to keep going. No matter how many days or weeks go by before you go again, you get up and keep going. If it's hard, you keep going.
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And I guess I really did keep going because I started this post back when I first started hiking on my own.

Two weekends ago,  I went hiking by myself and I didn't even blink. I got the map, I put my playlist on and just went to a new trail. It didn't scare me. I made the goal to hike every trail on the Chattahoochee going from south to north. Sometimes I go hiking three times in a week.  It's amazing to look back and to see who I was when I first started.

Last weekend I went hiking with a girl I met from REI classes. We talked and hiked and it was great.

I'm the go-to girl for information about trails near me. I'm going on a trip next week to Seattle and guess what, I'll be going hiking.

Hiking has brought something out of me that I didn't even know was there. It brought out the adventurous, courageous, resourceful girl. She researches and makes calculated steps. She pushes herself.  Her body itches with the urge to get up and go somewhere new. To find a new favorite place in the collection of trails. To go another mile. To explore every inch of my home and then to explore more. I have fallen in love with my body because it is strong and capable. I have fallen in love with this world. I have grown angry at those that destroy it and want to push aside the natural world for profit. My life has changed for the better because of a pair of boots, a map, and a trail.

Find something you love, be scared and start anyways, keep going, become fearless.

And then keep going.